When Mother's Day Hurts

Mother’s Day is a day I dread every year. I consider staying in bed where I don’t have to face the painful reminder that I am not a mother. I know that God plans to use my infertility to bring glory to His name. I know that I’m better able to serve God because I don’t have children. And I praise God for how He has been drawing me closer to Him through this.

But there is something about this day that threatens to undo all the good that He has been working out in me.

On this day, I feel left out.

On this day, I feel lonely.

On this day, more than any other, I have to fight to hold back the tears that want to overtake me.

My intention is not to make women feel bad about celebrating motherhood. Being a mom is a daily sacrifice that takes more work than I can imagine, and it should be celebrated. But please remember that Mother’s Day is not a happy day for everyone, for many different reasons, and take a moment to pray for those who are hurting.

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst

To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren - yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you

To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you – Amy at www.messymiddle.com   

“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” – Romans 12:15